Jokes

PLEASE STOP MAKING JOKES ON SARDARS

Old Man: Putar mere dand (teeth) lai ke aa.

Putar: Bapu roti te bani nahi hai.

Old Man: Roti nahi khani, sahmne vali buddhi nu smile deni hai.

Munda: Papa ik glass pani de do.

Papa: Apne aap lai lai.

Munda: Papa, please tusi de do.

Papa: Je hun mainu pani vaste keha ta me 2 thapad maranga.

Munda: Papa jado thapad maran aaoge ta pani lainde aana.

Dear dost! Je kade tera ikale da panga 10 bandiyan nal pe jave ta mainu bula lai.

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Main kade kise de kut paindi nahi dekhi...

Ik accident hoya, bohot bheer ikathi ho gi.

Santa Kumar nu agge ja ke dekhan da moka nahi c mil reha. Clever Santa cried: "Hai mera bapu…"

Bheer ne Santa nu agge jan dita. Agge ja ke dekhya ta…
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...khota marya pya c !!!!

Amarinder Singh te Badal ik boat te ja rahe san. Boat dub gayi.

Guess karo bachya kaun ???
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..Oye balle balle guess karo Ji
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. Te Javab Hai
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.* * * ! ! Punjab ! ! * * *

Please don't mind. This is just a joke. It is not true.

Ik vari bohot sare lok CM Sahib di kothi samne ikathe ho ke nahre maran lagge: "CM Sahib Zindabad, CM Sahib Zindabad"

Deputy CM: CM Sahib, assi ehna lokan nu na bijli diti na pani dita, fir v eh lok sanu zindabad zindabad kiyon keh rahe ne.

CM: Oye putt, eh oh lok ne jehde inverters te generators supply karde ne.

Santa: Papa mein ajj school nahi jana.

Papa: Kyon beta?

Santa: Kal school vich sada weight tolya c. Menu lagda a ke aj sanu kidhre vech na den.

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Santa: Papa, je meri mami nu bhootni chambad gayi ta tusi ki karoge?

Papa: Mein ki karna a beta, eh bhena da aapsi mamla a.

Punjabi Boy: I love u sohniye.

Punjabi Girl: Tere vich ki khaas hai ke main tainu pyar kara.

Punjabi Boy: Veer tera university da topper a.

Santa ik STD te gaya. STD operator nu 2 thapar lagaye te phone karan lagga.

Poocho kiyuunn?

Kiyunki STD te likhya c “Fone karan to pehle 2 lagao”

(Add digit 2 before dialing)

Punjabi Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar ch Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar lai c.

Student: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar ch Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke c.

Santa tube light de neech muh khol ke khada si.

Kiyon...

Kiyon ki doctor ne kiha si: Aj tera pet kharaab hai, light hi khana.

Santa: Jaldi ik peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.

Waiter: Lo sir.

Santa: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.

Waiter: Lo sir.

Santa: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.

Waiter: Par eh ladai honi kado hai?

Santa: Jad tu paise mangega.

Santa te Banta kisi da afsos karan gaye.

Ik kudi Bante de gal lag ke ron lag payi.

Santa to girl: Idhar aao ji, eh mere vi ohi lagde c jo Bante de lagde c.

Girl to teacher: Sir, class de sare munde meinu bhua bhua kehnde ne.

Teacher: Kon kon ehnu bhua kehnda hai, hath kada karu.

Sante to bina sab ne hath kada kar lita.

Teacher: Sante, tu ehnu bhua nahi kehda?

Santa: Sir, mein te ehna sab da FUFFARH han.

Bhikhari: Saab, coffee peen vaste 20 Rs de do.

Saab: Par coffee te 10 Rs di aandi a.

Bhikhari: Naal girlfriend vi a.

Saab: Wah! bhikahri ho ke girlfriend vi bana lai a.

Bhikhari: Nahi saab, girlfriend ne bhikhari bana dita a.

Bapu to Santa: Putt, tu kal raat daru pee ke idhar udar dig riha si.

Funny Santa: Bapu, eh sab galat sangat di vajah naal hoya. Assi 4 dost, ik botal, te oh tino kambakhat peende hi nahi.

Pind di buddi shehar milan gayi. Nooh ne ohne Pizza dita te kehndi: Aa lai bebe PIZZA.

Buddi: Eh sheharian di vi had nahi, khan vali cheej nu vi kehnde ne pe ja.

Ik sharabi daru pee ke mar gaya. Par ohdi daru prati shardha vekho, oh marda marda vi keh gaya: Sharab te theek si, sala liver hi kamjor si.

Jis hospital da mein doctor han

Meri vohti uthe nurse hai

Kinna ajeeb zulam sehna painda hai

Apni hi vohti nu sister kehna painda hai.

Santa da dil non veg khan nu karda hai.

Oh hotel vich ja ke chicken order karda hai.

Waiter: French chicken or Spanish chicken?

Santa: Jehra marji lai aa yaar, mein kehra ohde nal gallan karnian ne.

Ik vari ki hoya ik pind vich sher aa gaya. Sher nu pakdan vaste Japan di police di help layi gayi, Amrika di police v aayi, par sab nakam rahe.

Akhir vari aayi sadi harman pyari Punjab Pulas di.

Bas fer ki c. Agle hi din Punjab Pulas ne thane vich ik bandar pakdya hoya c te ohnu kut kut ke keh rahe san: Bol me hi sher han, me hi sher han !!!

Santa: Oye teri vohti kithe gayi?

Banta: Oh te peke chali gayi.

Santa: Tu ohnu kutda hovenga.

Banta: Nahi yaar, saki bhen vangu rakhda c.

Punjabi Jat to Jatti: Darling aj barsat da din hai. Koi eho jehi romantic gal kar k mere dono paer zameen ten a lagan.

Jatti: Moya fansi lai la.

Santa: Bhai har roj murge nal roti khaidi a.

Banta: Oh kiven.

Santa: Ik burki aap khaidi a te ik murge nu payee di a.

Ik kudi class vich bohot late aayi.

Master: Tu late kiyon aai?

Kudi: Masterji ik munda mera picha kar riha c.

Master: Par biba, tu late kyon hoi?

Kudi: Masterji, oh munda bohot holi holi chal riha c.

Punjabi Boy: Main tere nal shaadi nahi kar sakda. Ghar wale mana kar rahe ne. Punjabi Girl: Ghar vich kon kon hai. Punjabi Boy: 1 bivi te 3 bache. Sante ne apni engagement tod diti. Kiyon ki kudi kavari c. Santa: Jo ajj tak kisi di nahi ho saki, oh meri kiven ho sakdi hai ? Santa Banta di fighting ho rahi si. Santa: Tere dimag vich gobar bharya hoya hai. Banta: Tahi te tu 2 ghante to chatti ja reha hain. Santa to Banta: Main tere 64 de 64 dand tor dene ne. Lalu: 64 nahi 32 dand hunde ne, phaji. Santa: Mainu pata c tu v vich bolna a, iss lai tere v vich gin lye. Khudde de sare chuhe ik billi to bohot preshan san. Ik vari billi khudde de bahar khadi si. Ik samajdar chuha khudde vichon jor di bloya: Bow wow wow. Billi dar ke bhaj gayi te kadi v vapas nahi aayi. Baki chuhe kehnde tu ki bolya c. Samajdar Chuha: Hun tuhanu samaj aayi ke dusrian bhashavan da gian hona kinna zaruri hai. Santa to Banta: Tu eh belt laga ke bada funny funny lagda hain. Banta: Acha, je mein eh belt na lagai ta hor vi funny funny lagganga. Santa to teacher: Jo kam mein kita hi na hove, tusi ohdi saza vi meinu devo ge? Teacher: Bilkul nahi. Funny Santa: Mein ajj home work nahi kitta. Santa: Doctor Saab, me Chashma laga k pad to sakanga? Doctor: Haan, bilkul. Santa: Fir theek hai doctor sab, varna anpad admi ki zindagi bhi koi zindgi hai. Santa: Kal sada kutta khu vich gir gaya te jor jor di chhekan maran lag pya. Banta: Hun oh kiven hai? Santa: Theek hi houga, ajj khu vichon koi cheek nahi sunai diti. Santa America vich 3-4 mema naal bus te chadan lagda hai. Pehle mema chad gayian. Jado Santa di vari aayi, conductor kehnda "no more, no more" Santa: Oye mornia chadai jana a te sadi vari kehnda no more no more Shaadi to Pehle Takdeer hai par kismat nahi khuldi Taj mahal bana-na chan-da han Par Mumtaz nahi mildi.... Shaadi to baad Takdeer hai par kismat nahi khuldi Taj mahal bana-na chan-da haan Par Mumtaz nahi mardi.... Santa Sydney di ik beach te leta hoya c. Suddenly a man comes and asked: Are u relaxing. Santa: No I am Santa. 2-3 more men asked him the same question. Irritated Santa got up & started walking. He saw a man lying on a chair. Santa ask him are u relaxing? He said: yes. Santa slapped him & said: tu ithe baitha hai te loki tainu uthe labh rahe ne.